Mastering the Art of Communication
Author: Peter Rosselli - CoFounder of Cor Communications

Few people would argue with the fact that skillful communication is one of the most critical success factors in both business and personal life. However, it is much more than just a means to an end. Communication is one of the most beautiful and rich art forms that a human being can aspire to master.

Think about the tremendous variety of communication situations you face. Which are most difficult for you? Delivering a powerful and persuasive business presentation? Leaving a succinct voice mail message? Negotiating a contentious issue with your kids, spouse, or boss without letting counterproductive emotions dominate? The good news is that there really are only 3 basic elements at play in literally all of these situations. You simply need to apply and adjust these 3 elements in appropriate ways to be effective.

The 3 Essential Elements (or skill areas) in communication are Behavior, Content, and Interaction.

?Behavior reflects the physicality of communicating- how you communicate.

?Content is about what you actually communicate, or the words you say.

?Interaction skills take fully into account who you¹re communicating with, the flow between you and others, and how skillfully you manage that flow.

Unlike most other forms, the art of Communication doesn¹t require us to set aside large chunks of time each day, or clear out some special physical space in order to engage in it. No studio is needed, no easels or brushes, no camera lenses and lights, no clay, steel, stone, or marble. All that is required besides your everyday communication situations, are a sincere effort to practice a few skills in each of the following 3 areas, some reliable feedback, and most importantly, your sustained attention and awareness.

Behavior

The body is your instrument and primary tool for expression in the Art of Communication. Of course the content is critical. But great music played poorly will move no one. And so it is with communication. We must have something important to say, and we must deliver it well in order for listeners to respond positively. Here are a few general guidelines to keep in mind.

Eye Contact- When speaking to a group, always maintain eye contact with individuals. Avoid scanning, or looking away to think. Deliver a sentence or thought to each person

(2-7 seconds). This will involve your listeners, and create a sense of settled focus.

Facial Expression- Be generous with your smile. Look for ways to incorporate lightness. When listening, mirror back emotion through the face.

Gestures and Movement- When presenting, project confidence and presence by using the space. Move purposefully by allowing eye contact to draw you to individual listeners. Don¹t meander or pace; balance movement with stillness. Gesture naturally and freely, keeping the upper body loose and open. When not actively gesturing, let your arms rest at your sides or on the table.

Voice- Breathe deeply, enabling the voice to project. Create energy and interest by mixing high and low vocal tones. On the phone, stand up, gesture, and smile to access your full vocal range.

Pause- Allow time for listeners to digest your information and form associations to what you¹re saying. Vary your rhythm and pauses for emphasis. Pause to eliminate filler words such as Œum? Œah? Œyou know? etc.

Content

If the body is our communication instrument, our content is the actual music we play.

Whether composing your content for a planned presentation, a writing project, a voice mail message, or an impromptu discussion, you should keep two goals in mind if you want the communication to be successful. 1) Be clear, and 2) Create a memorable impact.

1) Clarity

Without a clear focus to your communications, all the facts, detail, and data in the world will be ineffective. Get to the point! Ask yourself the following 3 questions before opening your mouth.

?What is my position, opinion, point of view regarding this subject?

?What do I want my listener(s) to do--is there some action I¹m recommending?

?What are the benefits for your listener(s) in doing what you¹re asking them to do?

You can articulate all three statements (Position, Action, and Benefits) in anywhere from 30 seconds to no more than a couple of minutes. The more succinct, the better. Always begin and end your critical communications with these distinctions to ensure the clarity, persuasiveness, and power of the message.

2) Memorable Impact

Listeners have a tough time remembering dry information no matter how clearly it is presented. Because of the way the brain is organized, human beings most naturally remember three categories of stimuli:

?Images

?Emotion

?Direct Physical Involvement

Involve listeners by asking open-ended questions. Hook your most important points with memorable ŒPEARLs?(Pictures/images, Examples/stories, Analogies, References/quotes, Levity)

Interaction

You may look the part, and your content may sound OK, but if you can¹t handle a tough question or challenge, your credibility is in serious doubt. In fact, the toughest situation for most communicators, is being at the receiving end of a difficult question or challenging interaction. Having a few guidelines in mind can help.

Keep the body open- Be mindful of fidgeting or clasping at jewelry, pen, or papers.

Clarify the question or concern- Don¹t try to respond if you are unclear. Determine if there is more than one question or issue. Ask for more information if you need it.

Align with the challenger- Acknowledge something in what they said. You don¹t need to give up your position to do this. Simply validate the general issue or concern behind their position. (Hostile Position: "Your product is way too expensive!" Acknowledgment of the general concern: "Cost is always an important consideration.")

Match the challenger¹s intensity with presence- Never argue or counter-attack. The more intense the attack, the stronger your acknowledgment should be.

Respond briefly- A longer answer is not usually a better one. More often, a wordy response will be perceived as an attempt to shore up a weak position.

Practice and Feedback

There¹s some good news and some bad news regarding your path to mastery.

The good news is this: it doesn¹t need to take years for you to see significant progress and change in your skills. If you focus on one or two skills, put daily practices in place, and stay consistent in your practice for 3-4 weeks (which is a long enough time to begin to form new habits) you will definitely notice a greater sense of ease and command developing in that skill area.

Now for the bad news. There¹s always a disparity between how you think you¹re coming across to people, versus how you actually are coming across. This means that it is critical for you to put feedback mechanisms in place to ensure that you¹re not just practicing the same old bad habits (or putting new bad habits into place).

Remember-- an artist is defined by their commitment to their art. This means that it¹s important to foster a daily relationship to your communication that is interested and aware. Wake up every day and notice something new. The great jazz performers are able to make use of whatever arises in the music, and turn it into an opportunity for creativity. A great communication artist is able to do the same. The more choices you develop, the easier it will be to adapt your natural style to the variety of listeners and communication circumstances you face.

Author:

Peter Rosselli - Consulting Partner

Cor Communications, LLC

75 Sunset Way

Muir Beach, CA 94965

Tel (415) 383-6209 Fax (415) 383-6441

E-mail: pjr2u@aol.com or prosselli@corcommunications.com

http://www.corcommunications.com








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Peter Rosselli

75 Sunset Way

Muir Beach, CA 94965

Tel: (415) 383-6209 Fax: (415) 383-6441

Email: prosselli@corcommunications.com

Peter Rosselli is co-founder of Cor Communications, LLC?a consulting company specializing in Communication Skills and Diversity Training. He has been a speaker, consultant, trainer, and course designer in the areas of business communications, cultural diversity, and personal expression for over 15 years. Peter has coached literally thousands of business people and conducted hundreds of skills development programs including Presentation skills, Press and Media training, Negotiation skills, Customer Service, and Change Management.

As an educator, Peter has taught classes on gender and personal expression at Stanford University, UC Berkeley, and Holy Names College, as well as being a guest lecturer for the National Technological University. He has consulted internationally, working in a variety of industries with companies such as Apple Computer Inc., AT&T, Bank of America, Cirrus Logic, Data Broadcasting Corp., G.E., Gilead Sciences, Hewlett Packard, IBM, Kaiser Permanente, National Semiconductor, and Sterling Commerce.

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