Creating Your Ultimate Destiny
Author: Robert Stuberg

What is the meaning of my life? What is the purpose of my existence? For what reason was I put here on this planet? From time to time, we¹ve all asked these questions of ourselves, and perhaps we¹ve asked them of our friends, loved ones, or spiritual advisors. And, of course, if you discuss these questions with different people, you will certainly notice that you get different responses. For this reason, throughout history, philosophers have debated whether there actually is a purpose for living and, if so, what it is.

I hope that just because there are no consistent answers to these questions, you don¹t think that no answers exist, for the exact opposite is true! A life¹s purpose is a very real and concrete structure‹-and your purpose can be exactly what you want it to be. And what¹s more, whether it has been a conscious acknowledgment or the faintest inkling, you already know what that is! The answer is already inside you, waiting to be discovered, waiting to fill your life with meaning and fulfillment. What you need is to have the confidence to recognize that answer and boldly frame your life around it.

The reason why there are so many answers to the question ³What is my purpose?² is that there are as many potential purposes and reasons for existence as there are people who exist! Sure, some purposes will be similar to one another, but remember that yours is as unique to you as you are unique from the billions of other people in the world. Nobody else could ever create or fulfill a purpose for your life. Your life¹s direction is completely in your own hands. So what is your purpose? Have you recognized it yet? Can you put it into words?

Some background on purposes in general may help you to focus on what yours is. You might ask, What is purpose? What does it mean to have one? Does everyone have one? Well, to start at the beginning, a purpose is basically a reason for doing something . . . not an action itself, but a justification of it. This session is about your life¹s purpose, and within the framework of this program, this will be the reason behind the ultimate destiny you design. It won¹t be the actual steps that you take toward achieving your goals, but it is the direction and driving force behind them. It will be the focal point around which your goals and ambitions are arranged.

Your purpose can be based upon some intrinsic talent or interest you have, or it can be a part of some of your grander ideals. It can be something you want to achieve for yourself, or it can be something you want to bring to the world at large.

The benefits of organizing your life around a purpose are profound. Elsewhere in this program, we¹ve discussed the characteristics of a life out of control. If you¹ll remember, some of those characteristics were directionlessness, conflicting actions, inefficiency, and being easily manipulated. Well, these are also possible qualities of a life with no defined purpose. In fact, a defined life¹s purpose is one way you can start to bring control to your life. You can have control without purpose, but to what avail? What benefit is control when it is for no reason? The nineteenth-century writer Mary Shelley wrote that ³Nothing contributes so much to tranquilize the mind as a steady purpose‹-a point on which the soul may fix its intellectual eye.² By ³tranquilize the mind,² Shelly didn¹t mean putting yourself to sleep! No, her thought was that having a steady purpose makes a mind calm and sure, eliminating uncertainty and aimlessness.

A life¹s purpose is your inspiration. It¹s the motivation behind your actions. It¹s the force that not only leads you to realizing your dreams, but that also provides a context for your dreams to come true. And it¹s one of the key components to your ultimate destiny. If you are not living by a purpose, you may achieve some of your individual goals, but those goals won¹t be cohesive or organized around any unifying principle. Instead, they¹ll be random accomplishments based on immediate desires, probably not contributing much to each other, to the whole of your life, or to the world around you.

On the other hand, recognizing your life¹s purpose automatically creates a structure for your goals and desires. It gives you something to work toward, something for you to measure your progress against. You probably wouldn¹t believe the number of people in the world who have no idea why they¹re living the life they lead and doing the things they do. Well, a life¹s purpose is an all-encompassing answer to the question of why. And it is an answer that will constantly inspire and motivate you to make strides in this direction you¹ve set for yourself.

As to whether everyone has a purpose . . . well, of course! There is one or more inside of each of us, waiting to be discovered or grasped. But since a vast number of people have not done so, the issue becomes murky. Think about this philosophical question for a moment: Can you have a purpose if you don¹t consciously know what it is? That¹s a bit like asking whether a tree falling in a forest makes a sound if there¹s nobody there to hear it! Although your own unique configuration of mind and spirit might result in a number of potential directions for your life, these won¹t be of much benefit to you until you recognize them, decide among them, and put one to work for you.

Can you decide on more than one? The answer is yes, as long as they don¹t conflict. I believe that you will have only one or two major unifying life¹s purposes at a time, but you can certainly assign purposes to the individual areas of your life. And you can always change what you¹ve defined for yourself. This is where the power of decision comes in.

So the question now becomes, How do you recognize your life¹s purpose if you haven¹t already done so? Well, there are a few guidelines I can offer to help you there. The first is not to confuse your purpose with your role in society. Your role might be acting as a banker, a lawyer, a salesperson, a manager, or a mechanic. But your role is not your purpose. That¹s like defining your identity by what you do for a living, a phenomenon we¹ve discussed earlier in this program. If you are living your ultimate destiny, your role will probably be closely aligned to your purpose, since your role will be a result of your destiny, while your destiny will be a result of your life¹s purpose.

And as you encounter other individuals and groups with their own purposes, try to keep your own purpose distinct from theirs. Too many people substitute the purposes of other groups and individuals for their own, and just as many people think that part of their own life¹s purpose is to get as many people as possible to adopt the same one. Unfortunately, both of these tendencies are flawed. You must find your own individual direction and leave others to do the same. This is the nature of a life¹s purpose.

Your life¹s purpose is like a calling, something inside of you that draws you to a certain field of endeavor. It comes from a part of you that¹s difficult to categorize, but you¹ll recognize it when you see it. There may be some doubt surrounding it; it may even be a bit frightening to contemplate. But if you grab it and run with it, you will have such a sense of rightness. Embracing a life¹s purpose is like reclining in a chair that was custom-built to your proportions or slipping into a bath that¹s just the right temperature. It¹s comfortable . . . and comforting.

Aligning your life to meet your direction may actually take some effort, but it¹s always worth it. A life lived on purpose is a wonderful and productive life indeed, and it¹s an absolute must for living your ultimate destiny.








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Robert Stuberg is a man who believes in the power of human potential. Researching the science of success and achievement for more than 20 years, he has spent the last decade working behind-the-scenes in the personal development industry. Robert is vice president of Nightingale-Conant Corporation where he works on a daily basis with the greatest minds in the personal development field, including Anthony Robbins, Brian Tracy, Denis Waitley, Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, Jim Rohn, Barbara DeAngelis and many others. From this unique vantage point, he has gained a rare insider's view of their important work of helping people make the most of their time and talents.

In addition to his executive role, Robert serves as N-C's Personal Achievement Commentator. As an astute observer and student of personal development, he constantly monitors and reports on the latest programs and newest ideas that contribute to the advancement of human potential. His engaging style and depth of understanding of the human condition contribute to the growing popularity of his approach to and philosophy of personal achievement and success.

Robert is the articulate host of Insiders, a regular monthly feature in Nightingale-Conant's Audio Magazine, Insight, which features interviews with the world's greatest authorities in the personal development field. He also hosts The Achievement Report, a regularly-featured segment on the country's only all-success network, Personal Achievement Radio.

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