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So Who Gives a *#@&! if You Swear?
Author: James V. O'Connor
Cursing, cussing, swearing -- whatever you prefer to call it -- is generally considered part of our contemporary language. Most people do it, some people don't like it, but no one much thinks about it. The fact is, swearing does much more damage to our relationships, our image and our own peace of mind that we image. Maybe everyone swears, but no one swears everywhere. You might say swearing is harmless, but why do you restrain yourself in certain situations? You are acknowledging that it is not perfectly okay. For example, maybe you don't swear in front of kids. Why not? Is cursing an adult privilige? Actually, swearing is juvenile! Adults should have the vocabulary, maturity and emotional control to avoid using trashy language.
There are two large categories of swearing: casual and causal. Casual swearing is swearing we do to be funny or just for fun, or because we are too lazy to think of more appropriate words when one of those versatile, all-purpose curse words fits the bill. Causal swearing, on the other hand, is caused or provoked by pain or by an emotion, such as anger, annoyance, frustration, or impatience. You could argue that casual swearing doesn't hurt anyone, but the truth is, it hurts you, especially if you swear excessively or inappropriately, like in a public place. Believe it or not, many people are offended by crass language, and even though they might not tell you, they are passing judgment on your lack of maturity and consideration for others. This negative response might be subtle, but it is there. We don't realize it, because no one ever mentions it. Besides, when even good people use bad words, it contributes to our overall decline in civility and manners.
Causal swearing is another issue. "When I get mad, it feels good to swear," is a common remark, and for some peculiar reason, it's true! However, it sounds bad and makes you look bad. People are more likely to respect and admire you if you can deal with problems calmly and professionally, without losing control of you emotions.
The question to ask yourself is, Why am I mad, frustrated, annoyed and impatient so frequently? We all have problems, big and small, but some of us react to the small ones with the same fervor as the big ones. What's the point? Will swearing make the traffic go away, the waitress move faster, the computer work better? When we are irritable and foul mouthed, do the people around us want to continue to be around us? How comfortable are you when a friend, family member or co-worker is continued aggravated? Why would you want to be that way yourself? Cope don't cuss! You will have to solve the problem anyway, so skip the cussing. You only add to your own stress.
Swearing is a habit, and one way to break it is to get in the habit of saying less offensive words -- the same words you say when you are in a situation when you know you CAN'T swear! Or, when you encounter a problem, say "FFFFFix it! I can fix it!" Just deal with the problem, and you will feel better about yourself.
Swearing is not only a habit, but often a sign of a negative tone and attitude. You are reading this because you want to improve yourself, and you know the secret to any form of self-help is a positive attitude. Change your attitude about those small, daily annoyances, and you will be a better person.
You might not succeed in eliminating profanity from your vocabulary, but that's okay. If you can at least reduce the use,you will:
1. Sound more intelligent
2. Communicate more clearly
3. Be more pleasant to be with
4. Have greater control of your emotions
5. Avoid offending others
6. Earn more respect
7. Improve your relationships
8. Avoid conflict and hostility
9. Be a happier person
10. Contribute to a better society
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James O'Connor operates his own public relations firm and is the author of "CUSS CONTROL, The Complete Book on How to Curb Your Cursing," published in April 2000. He has been featured in hundreds of newspaper and magazine articles, has appeared on more than 50 TV shows, and interviewed on more than 400 radio stations. Visit his Website at www.cusscontrol.com, or e-mail him at jvoc@earthlink.net
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