Learning to give ourselves time (understanding pain)
Author: Lucy Lopez

NOTE: Whilst clinically, the distinction is made between pain and suffering, (the former referring to a physical (gross) phenomenon while the latter refers to a psychosocial (subtle) phenomenon), in this article, the word ‘pain’ is used in reference to both types of phenomena.

We have all experienced pain. We are all familiar with the discomfort and un-ease of being in pain. Any experience in which we do not have what we desire and/or need is potentially an experience of pain. Sometimes, pain seems to manifest on the gross, or physical level, sometimes on the mental, emotional or spiritual level, and sometimes on more than one of these levels.

At times, the pain we experience seems mild, almost negligible, little more than a passing irritation. At other times, pain seems unbearable, overwhelming and unshakeable, capable of holding us indefinitely in states clinically described as depression. In almost all our experiences of pain however, brief or long lasting, mild or severe, there is little doubt that most of us seek to avoid and arrest pain.

Have you noticed how quickly we try and get ourselves out of pain? Have you noticed what lengths we go to in order to stop experiencing pain? Have you noticed how powerlessly we react from the belief that pain is undesirable and that we must rid ourselves of it, often using treatments ranging from medication to therapy? So entrenched is this belief about pain that to even consider the possibility of a different response to it seems absurd! But lets be a little absurd for a moment. Let’s be a little contrary. Let’s actually engage our imagination a little and consider alternative responses to pain.

One alternative would be to ignore it. Its not a particularly attractive option, but it is an option which some people take. What generally happens though, is that, while the conscious mind has decided to ignore pain (often by preoccupying itself with something or other, perhaps a new interest, or exercise, or even talk about the pain), the subconscious mind takes over custody of our pain. At this level of consciousness, pain is allowed to surreptitiously influence our mind and our body, often in ways that harm rather than heal us.

Another option is to deny pain, to tell ourselves that we are not really feeling the discomfort or un-ease. We may even go so far as to say we are imagining the pain. To support our denial, we may refuse to talk about our pain, and we may take elaborate steps to convince ourselves and others that we are not in pain. We may, for instance, continue exercise or even increase the quantity and intensity of exercise. We may go out of our way to be cheerful or we may tell ourselves and others that there are other people in far greater pain than we are and that, compared to them, our pain is so insignificant as to be non-existent.

On close examination, both these options spring from an underlying belief that pain is undesirable and that it is destructive. Yet, might there be yet another option? One that does not deny, ignore or try to ‘treat’ the pain with medication, counselling, hypnosis, or some other product on the market?

A different option would likely result from a different perception and belief about pain. Rather than seeing pain as undesirable, would it be possible to regard it as neither desirable nor undesirable? Would it be possible to regard it as yet another type of experience that arises in our stream of consciousness, no more and no less than any other experience? In other words, would it be possible to regard pain with equanimity?

Indeed it is possible. In fact, by adopting such a view, we create for ourselves an opportunity to get to know our pain, befriending it as if it were someone whom we might learn a lot from, allowing it to reveal to us hidden truths about ourselves. Such an attitude helps us foster a healthy and empowering relationship with pain and we are neither frightened nor overwhelmed by it.

We are not filled with dread or distress in its presence. Instead, we are able to observe it with an objective mind, seeing it for what it really is. This ability to observe prevents us from falling into the trap of identifying with our pain and becoming helplessly consumed by it. In this space of sheer observation, we sink into the seat of clear wisdom, unmediated knowing, intuition or insight, empowering us to walk fearlessly with our pain.

But observation takes time, something it seems we are poorly trained in and loathe giving ourselves. We seem to have an intolerance toward pain, an intolerance which far exceeds our evolutionary need to protect ourselves. It is an intolerance, which robs us of the ability to understand our pain and thereby understand ourselves. In our fearful haste to avoid walking the path of pain, we miss a critical part of our life journey in self-knowledge, a part in which we are nourished by the fruits of peace, joy, wisdom and compassion!

© Lucy Lopez 2003






--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucy Lopez mentors and facilitates workshops for Corporate and Private groups and individuals in the area of Personal/spiritual Growth, drawing on Buddhist, Christian and Hindu spiritualities, as well as her background in Science and Education. She also writes and publishes a free weekly ezine, A Drop of Light. To subscribe Email: inspiredpresence@yahoo.com Visit: http://www.geocities.com/inspiredpresence/

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------