If You're Happy and You Know It
Author: Maria E. Maria E. Andreu

Do you have pre-requisites you set up for yourself,
things that have to happen first before you'll be happy?
For many of us, it's a way of life. We live always in
expectation of that next big thing that's going to make it
all complete. The diploma. The marriage. That new
big job. A biggie is a certain amount of money,
which always mysteriously creeps up as we approach it.
Remember that first paycheck in your first "real" job?
It seemed like so much money! How long did it take
before that same check, newly strained by the rent
on the bigger apartment or that car payment, all of a
sudden didn't look so big? If you're like most of us,
not long, and suddenly, you found yourself thinking,
when I make more money, then things will be really
great.

But of course, these are all matters of perspective.
It's really easy to get caught up in not having enough
when you focus on externals. I heard a wonderful
saying, which seems so nonsensical but which
proves to be so true: "You can never get enough
of what you don't really need."

Think about it. It's the perfect explanation for people
you see (and we all know them), who always must
have the latest gadget, or just another pair of shoes,
or the biggest house. Why can that need
never be satisfied?

Another example is water. When you are really thirsty,
(and I'm talking dog-in-the-middle-of-summer-with-the-
tongue-hanging-out thirsty) can you get enough water?
The answer is, yes, you sure can. It may be a lot of
water, and you may have to stop and start until you've
satiated that thirst, but a time comes pretty quickly
when you're not thirsty any more.

Because water is what you really need.

But if in that same state you decided to have cheese
instead, thinking surely this will cure that awful thirst,
and more and more cheese, and different kinds of
cheeses, and the best cheese on the block, all in the
hopes of getting rid of that thirst, will you ever stop
being thirsty? No, and more than likely, you will
get progressively thirstier and thirstier, until your
tongue swells and you are one dehydrated soul.

A good measure of whether you're getting what you
need is whether the need becomes smaller and smaller
as you "feed" it. If you feel lousy, and you go shopping
and immediately afterwards (or in a short while) you
feel lousy again, it's a safe bet you didn't really need
to go shopping.

Ask yourself: If I get "XYZ" (what you want)
how will that feel?

For example, if your wish is a really big house, ask
yourself, "why?" If you have a large extended family
that comes to visit often and because you entertain
them on holidays, maybe you really do need a big house.

But for most of us, a large house is a status symbol
that feeds a different need, a need to be seen and
appreciated as an important person. So the question to
ask is: what feeling am I trying to evoke by meeting
what I think is my need? To feel important? Special?
Not poor anymore?

Why it's important to do this exercise:

You must understand what drives you to be
liberated from it and to start to design your life to
fit your needs. You need to stop eating cheese
when you thirst for water! Learning to identify your
true wants and desires will make you much more
effective in achieving your goals and in setting up a
life that works for you.






--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Maria E. Andreu is a Life Coach helping people define their true passions and goals. She offers free teleclasses and an e-course on the subject, as well as a newsletter with updates and articles. Visit her website at http://www.MariaEAndreu.com or e-mail her at maria@MariaEAndreu.com

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------