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To Cause or Not to Cause
Author: Kerrith H. (Kerry) King
Once upon a time in the land of Be, where everything is the way it’s supposed to be, there lived a young person. We're not sure whether the person was a boy or a girl. Anyway, this person had an amazing talent. Believe it or not they could cause people to do exactly what they were doing.
Now you may smile, or even laugh at this unusual ability, but it's true. No matter what someone else was doing, this young magician could snap their fingers and, POW!
They could even get adults to do what they were doing. Actually, most of the time it wasn't necessary to do the finger snapping. To tell the truth, it didn't make any "POW" noise either. Anyway, it was more fun silently intending things.
Can you imagine? You're walking down the hallway in school and someone yells at you, "Hey stupid!" You pause for a moment, for drama, and calmly reply, "Thank you." Little did they know that for some unknown reason you caused them to call you stupid. Or imagine your mother, calling you into the kitchen, and before she can open her mouth, you saying, "Yup, I'll go wash my hands." Would that blow her mind or what?
It was cool. Everywhere this young awesome person went it was the same. In school, with a teacher who was being grumpy, they thought, I wonder why I'm causing that? I sure am doing a good job. At other times, in fact quite a lot of the time, they forgot that they could cause what was happening to be happening. For instance, when they got in an argument with their best friend, who wouldn't let them borrow their bike, they'd have to stop the argument and remember that they were causing their friend to be stingy. How can you get mad at someone who's doing what you're intending them to do? Now you may be thinking, yah, but why would someone cause that? Why would someone cause another person to be stingy? Well, you have to remember you can only cause what's happening to happen; understanding "why" is best left to philosophers.
If you want you can spend a lot of time trying to figure out why something happened, but it's not necessary. Really! You don't have to figure it out. When the time comes for you to know, you'll know. The truth will magically appear. Until then, just be willing to look at things from the point of view that somehow you cause them because you cause them. In the enlightenment game, choosing to not know and choosing to be confused is considered super cool. Besides, a belief about the why of something can get in the way of seeing the truth.
I'm sure you've guessed by now, you have the same ability, this magical power. You can choose to be exactly where you are right now, this moment. Go ahead, choose it, right now. Kind of simple isn't it? Almost silly, yes? Well, it's not so silly when you're in the middle of an argument. Sometimes it's sad, especially when you see two adults arguing and you alone know they both have forgotten that they have the same ability—to stop, listen and intend for the other to say exactly what they are saying.
Here's your opportunity to be magical. The story is about end, would you like to have a shot at intending that? Once you choose to cause what's happening, you too get to be magically transported to the land of Be where everything is the way it's supposed to be.
For more communication skills anecdotes visit http://www.comcom121.org/anecdote.htm.
Kerrith H. (Kerry) King
Interpersonal/Organizational Communication Skills Consultant/Coach
Pres. Community Communications
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Community Communications (ComCom) is a nonprofit 501(c)(3) educational organization. We present communication skills workshops, on-line tutorials, lecturers and private consultations, to individuals, couples, groups and organizations. Several of our on-line tutorials are free including the communication skills tutorials for teachers and parents, one for the teacher and another for the parent who has a child who is failing. Another free tutorial is an extremely powerful one for someone intent on completing his/her experience of abusing or being abused?all tutorials include personal coaching. Contact: http://www.comcom121.org/ubb/Ultimate.cgi
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