In Defense of Parents
Author: Jannette Robert Murray

In my practice of Psychotherapy/(Clinical) Hypnotherapy, I may hear that the parent(s) of a client have expressed a fear (or observe their acting out of fear) in discouraging their adult child from counseling or hypnosis -- feeling they will be blamed for the way this individual turned out.

Now, let me tell you, a person does not need to enter therapy for this influence to be a known fact! We are all products of our heritage -- you, me, everyone! Whether the dysfunctional patterns of behavior, addictions, erroneous beliefs and fighting styles (just for starters) that we develop get passed down from our parents, are the result of psychological injuries from teachers or peers (other children's teasing or abuse in school) -- we are all affected by and have some individual growth work to do, to heal those effects.

This patterning comes down generation after generation. We are, generally, all doing the best we know how, but... what has been modeled for us -- try as we might -- most of us end up copying (unless we are able to deliberately follow through with a vow to "never act like..." (whoever was the person most egregious, to our view), in which case we may become the teetotaler who is the adult child of an alcoholic, or similar opposite.

That person or persons responsible for the negative influence may have been the family alcoholic, an abuser, an addict of some other variety; a teacher who made fun of your name, or some part of your anatomy, or made a negative example of you; or child(ren) who teased, etc.

When I was in grade school, there was a boy who regularly called me "Murbag", or "Needles", and told me "Don't stand sideways, Murbag, we can't see you!". I was a very skinny child. Would that I had some of that svelte body now!

While we are told "names and faces never hurt me..." the truth is that they do. Relentless verbal/emotional abuse is more damaging than some physical abuse; sometimes even one comment, that cuts deeply, stays with us forever.

It's important to understand the causes of how we got the way we are... and to heal those; it's also important to grow into the ability to forgive. Forgiveness comes easier when the perpetrators of our injury and pain acknowledge and admit that they were wrong, and when they apologize; if they share that they have learned better since, and are obviously working to do differently.

We occasionally hear parents say they did better with their younger children, in that they learned along the way.

Know, please, though that it's not about blame; it's about accepting responsibility as adults, for taking up the reins of our lives, seeking effective help and doing what is needed to heal the past and grow out of the unproductive behaviors and patterns of habit that are not working for us. It's about what we do from here forward, once we realize all this... for both the still living parents and the adult child.

And that goes for everyone.

You, too, can feel better, you can have all your relationships working better, including that with your children. You can heal the past, too.

When you give up defending yourself and your parenting, you can make tremendous strides in how you feel and how your life works! And especially in your relationship with your adult child(ren).

Do you think it's too late for you -- and that you have to take it all to your grave? Not so!

You have every bit as much right as anyone -- you deserve to feel just as good as you can and to have the happy life, which is possible for everyone.

You already see the beginning results in your adult child who is my client... and you truly do want this for yourself, if you just admit it. It's possible. You deserve it!

Why wait a minute longer to begin feeling good?

I encourage anyone who feels ready to heal themselves and their relationships to call me and let's explore what's possible for you...

I reserve two hours most days just to talk with people who want to explore getting their lives going in the right direction ...and to do that in the best, most effective way possible -- where there are tools to help you create the results you want.

Yes, you, too, can get the same phenomenal results all those who complete this therapy have gotten. I've seen 180-degree turnarounds. Just imagine the results you'd like to have...






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Jannette Robert Murray is a beyond-traditional Psychotherapist, Clinical Hypnotherapist, Life and Spiritual Coach. She specializes in the healing and reversal of dysfunctional/addictive patterns. In her twentieth year of private practice, in the Pacific Northwest, USA, as Life Directions Counseling & Coaching. She is the creator and sole practitioner of "The Golden Keys to Recovery" therapy. Explore her web site at: http://www.inspiredcounseling.com

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