On Writing about Fear
Author: Thom Rutledge, author of Embracing Fear

“These are days full of loss and pain, of suffering and sorrow. But they are not days of waste.” These are the words of the Reverend Leslie D. Weatherhead (The Will of God), spoken in 1944 in the midst of World War II, but they could not be more relevant today, as we go about our daily lives in the midst of what threatens to be a third world war unlike any of us imagined.

There are immediately two important points to be taken from Reverend Weatherhead’s words. First, although the specific details of our new millennium war are unique, our general state of loss and fear is not. And second, the truth of the Reverend’s second sentence --- “… they are not days of waste.” --- will always be determined by how we choose to respond to the difficulties we face rather than the difficulties themselves. Will we be victims to our circumstances, or will we be positive opportunists, using even the worst of times to bring out the best in ourselves? Reverend Weatherhead puts it this way: “Evil is never creative of good, though the circumstances of evil have often been an occasion for the expression of good.”

When terrorist hijacked four domestic airliners, turning them into deadly guided missiles on September 11, 2001, I was just finishing the first draft of a new book to be called Embracing Fear. After writing books about self-criticism, independent thinking, addiction recovery, self-forgiveness and personal responsibility, I had found my way to the one common denominator among all of these topics: the search for freedom from fear. Writing about fear seemed to me the result of a natural progression, personally and professionally. Fear underlies every troubling thought and emotion we have ever had and will ever have. In the deepest part of any psychological wound, that is what we will find ---- fear. And what better place to begin healing than the deepest part of the wound? It seemed so logical, so simple really, that as I worked to complete the manuscript I could not imagine having another self-help book to write after Embracing Fear.

From where I sit now I can see that my arrival at fear as the common denominator underlying all psychological distress is not an end point as much as it is a sharp turn, a turn toward what I believe will be a new era in self-help material.

My parents’ generation --- the ones who first heard Reverend Weatherhead’s words --- grew up during The Great Depression, and were the young adults of the Second World War. Within this context, they knew themselves as small but integral parts of a greater whole. They were a generation of patriots, strongly identified with national pride.

My generation, as is the nature of things, took a different path --- a path that at the time seemed contrary, but one that I believe can now be seen as complementary, to that of our parents. My generation countered the atmosphere of nationalism by emphasizing our unique individual natures. Ironically, we believed at the time that we stood for unity of all mankind, having no idea that we were actually laying the foundation for what would be called the “Me-Decade,” the 1980’s.

Our retreat into personal introspection crossed paths with expanding creative psychotherapies, and with the twelve-step movement (Alcoholics Anonymous and its offspring) that had been growing since the 1930’s, and gave birth to a sort of psychotherapeutic-age. Going to a shrink not only stopped being an embarrassment, but it actually became a status symbol. Even being an alcoholic (in recovery) became fashionable.

So in a sense, we retreated into selfishness, but in so doing, learned that selfishness is not all bad. We have learned to value each other as individuals. From this introspective selfishness we have been influencing a growth of tolerance, open mindedness, independent thinking, and most importantly, the celebration of diversity.

Now it is time to put what we have been learning across the generations to work. Cliché or not, those who do not learn from the past will indeed repeat it. We have a chance to recognize the necessity of finding the middle ground between extreme patriotism in which we focus too much attention on the other “bad guys,” and extreme individualism in which we become absorbed within ourselves, turning blind eyes to the harsh realities of the problems we face. We have a chance to embark upon what Robert Ornstein and Paul Ehrlich (New World, New Mind, Doubleday, 1989) call “conscious evolution.” We can make it our responsibility to choose a better path than has ever been chosen, to make it our top priority to seek solutions that will stem from our most deeply held values of love, compassion and justice.

The first challenge we face if we become serious about responding to our current global circumstances in a new and improved way is to consider again the words of Reverend Weatherhead in 1944. How are we most likely to insure that these will not be days of waste? What can we do to maximize the chances that we will become more productive and creative rather than destructive and stagnant as a result of the terrible occurrences of 9/11/01? What can we do to insure that we become positive opportunists --- non-victims to any event --- who will in spite of the circumstances find ways to improve ourselves as individuals and as communities?

I do not write this to find a soap box for my own political views, but to point out that the division between global politics and interpersonal psychology will only serve to perpetuate the inevitable disintegration of us all. Ultimately there are no significant differences between the relationship dynamics on a global scale and those I encounter in my therapy practice on a daily basis. If we are to prevail it is time to integrate the sense of community of my parents’ generation and the keen psychological insights of my generation --- which brings me back to fear.

The book I have just completed (Embracing Fear) is not the last self-help book I will write. It is among the first of what I am coming to think of as politically responsible self-help; that is, self-help material that can help us heal not only our individual selves and families, but our entire world from the inside out. Please do not misunderstand me. I am not suggesting that my book (or any book) can save the world. In a very practical sense, Embracing Fear is just another self-help book. But I have written it, as I did a previous book (Earning Your Own Respect), with a dedication to the point of view that only through learning about ourselves --- specifically our responses to personal shame and fear --- can we hope to make a positive difference in the bigger world around us. And I have written these books with an equal dedication to the essential premise that if we settle for personal introspection without contributing something of our new, improved selves to the communities --- from municipal to global --- in which we live, we will be failing to act responsibly, rendering our personal growth a moot point.

To reflect once more on Reverend Weatherhead’s words, if we choose paths of enlightened insight of ourselves and the world around us, there will probably always be loss, pain, suffering and sorrow. The choices we make will not change that; the choices we make will determine the answer to the more important question: will these be days of waste?

-Thom Rutledge
March 23, 2002








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Thom Rutledge, a psychotherapist for 20 years, is the author of several books including Embracing Fear. For more information contact thomrut@us.inter.net
or visit www.webpowers.com/thomrutledge

Thom Rutledge
thomrut@us.inter.net
or visit www.webpowers.com/thomrutledge

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