How to build self-confidence by doing really easy things
Author: S. H. Evans, Ph. D.

This heading calls up the skeptic in you.

There is no such thing as a free lunch.

Somehow, you suspect that if you do really easy things, the best you can expect is confidence in your ability to do really easy things.

I stopped believing in the tooth fairy when I started believing in myself.

Try a reverse: How to undermine self-confidence by doing really easy things. Sound more plausible? Here are four easy ways to undermine self-confidence. You can use them on the competition. You can use them on the people around you. You can use them on your children. You can use them on yourself. Just be sure you really want to undermine self-confidence.

Canterizing. Focus on what you can’t do. If you think you never do that, try this test: During every meal, review what happened in the last few hours. Ask yourself how often you told yourself, “I can’t.” Write down the answer.

Children focus on what they can’t do. Adults focus on what they can do.

Overbiting. Try to eat a buffalo. Sure you can. Just not all at once. If you would never think of overbiting, try this test: Pick anything you think you might want to do, but can’t. Can you break it into bite-sized pieces? If you can, look for the pieces you can handle. Then notice the leftovers.

The longest journey begins with a single step.

Vagoaling. Vague goals. This is a backhand way to undermine self-confidence. It may even look like a reasonable substitute for self-confidence. If your goal is vague, you won’t notice when you lose. The trouble is that you won’t notice when you win, either. If you know you wouldn’t do this, try this test: At the end of every meal, decide what you want to accomplish in the next hour or so. Decide what result you will be happy with. Ask yourself how to know whether to be happy or not.
If you don’t know what the goal is, how will you know when you've won?

Underwinning. Winning while looking the other way. This tends to go with vagoaling, but a determined underwinner can discount even the clearest of successes. Test for underwinning: At each meal, ask yourself how many successes you have had since your last meal.
If you don’t notice when you win, you will only notice when you lose.

If you try all these tests and don’t find any problems, you get to feel self-confident. You are already avoiding some of the most common pratfalls in the self-confidence business. If you do find problems, you will probably get more control over them just by paying attention to them. And what do you think controlling these will do to your self-confidence?

Now try a double reverse: How to stop undermining your self-confidence by not doing those really easy things we just named.







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S. H. Evans was Professor of Psychology at Texas Christian University and an independent consultant in behavioral research. He retired some years ago. He now provides consulting to the Applied Cognitive Research Lab at TCU and maintains a website in collaboration with Dr. D. F. Dansereau. This free site, thinkerer.org, provides simple, commonsense tools for self-improvement, self-growth, and self-direction.

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