Business Meal Etiquette: Host & guest play different roles
Author: Lillian D. Bjorseth, SP

Building relationships often involves having a meal with a customer, client or vendor, and as a business owner you may find yourself entertaining one of the above or being one of them. Business etiquette -- the rules which govern your conduct -- require that you behave differently as a host or guest.

Host responsibilities:
* Make the offer and pay the bill. It is taken for granted that unless it a mutually arranged get-to-together (like a BBC Duo or a business associates with whom you regularly meet), the person who tenders the offer automatically pays the bill ... and leaves the tip.
* Suggest time/date/place. The initiator also suggests the time/date/place and makes the reservation.
* Reconfirm with guest. Make sure you reconfirm all the details with the guest and either give them explicit directions or provide them with a phone number if you are not certain how to get to the restaurant from your guest’s location.
* Pre-arrange a meeting spot. Either arrange to meet somewhere and drive them to the restaurant or arrange for a specific spot to meet like at the registration desk if you are dining at a hotel.
* Arrive early ... arrange to pay for the check, if possible. Try to be the first one there so that your guest is never left wondering if h/she is at the right location. It’s also a good time to make arrangements that you be given the check.
* Offer your guest the best seat. This is especially important if the restaurant is known for its view or if there is to be entertainment included.
* Be familiar with the menu/offer suggestions. If you have never eaten at the restaurant, find out ahead of time what its specialties are or check with your network to find someone who has been there before.
* Don’t discuss business until after the meal is ordered. This is a good time to get better acquainted or catch up on items other than business. Take your clue from your guest as to how comfortable h/she is with getting "personal."
* Ask if guest has time for dessert. Don’t assume your guest wants a two-hour lunch break! Try to ascertain ahead of time how much time your guest has allotted and do periodic checks.
Be especially alert to body language signals that say your time is up.

Guest Responsibilities
* Confirm an invitation promptly. If you cannot do so immediately, let your host know so h/she is free to suggest another date or make other plans.
* Arrive on time. Be punctual or arrive early. Call if you will be late, even if you have to stop to make the phone call. It is far better to compose yourself in the parking lot for a few minutes than to run in breathlessly late.
* Follow your host to be seated. Let your host lead the way or follow the maitre ‘d. Be prepared to be the first one seated.
* Listen to host’s meal suggestions. The final choice, however, is yours because the host may not be aware of your special diet needs or wants. It is courteous not to select the most expensive items.
* Do not offer to pay or leave the tip. It is your host’s treat. Allow him/her to do it with dignity.
* Thank your host. Let the circumstances dictate. A verbal "thank you" often is enough. Perhaps, you would like to send an e-mail, too. Send a formal note when fitting.








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Lillian D. Bjorseth is a rapport builder who helps Fortune 100 and entrepreneurs maximize interpersonal relations. She is president of Duoforce Enterprises, Inc., a speaking and training company, and its division, Better Business Contacts, a business leads organization with almost 20 chapters in the Chicago area. Before successfully starting her own two businesses, Lillian coached AT&T top executives in communication and media relations skills. She is the author of Breakthrough Networking: Building Relationships That Last book and audio tape series and the Nothing Happens Until We Communicate audio tape and workbook series. She can be reached at 630-983-5308, lillian@duoforce.com or www.duoforce.com

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