How to Diffuse Hostile or Aggressive Behavior
Author: Carol James

The hands of the clock (tha pages of the calendar) are going faster than we would like. How in the world am I going to finish this -- in time? How am I going to get through all this traffic -- in time? How am I going to be able to pay my bills -- in time?

I'm dreading class tomorrow. I have to stand up and give a report. I hope a sound comes out of my mouth when I open it. I hope I don't faint.

If that baby cries any longer, I'll . . . and on and on.

Sound familiar? Of course it does. We've all had these or similar experiences where the heart rate goes up, the body becomes tense, we hold our breath.

But what is it really? And what can we do about it?

Well, there are tranquilizers, the pills that render us unfeeling of the fear. Unfortunately, they can also render us somewhat less "with it" generally. Or, we meditate. Or, we try to avoid the situations that seem to cause us stress. We exercise to "move through it." We change our attitude, as in "I'm not really afraid, I'm just excited." We get a massage. We do positive self-talk. While all may help to alleviate the symptoms, and can even get to some of the causes, I have found a way that relieves stress even more completely.

I began looking at stress and fear differently after being introduced to rebirthing with Sondra Ray and the Loving Relationships Training in the mid '80s. I had had my share of "anxiety attackes," times when for no apparent reason my head would start spinning, fear would grip me, and I would do nothing less than call 911. Of course, there was never anything physically wrong, and the medics knew it. And within a short time of their showing up, I would be fine.

What I have come to understand after training as a rebirther and clearing a lot of my own fears is that we experience stress when we are re-living a past experience, whether we consciously remember the experience or not. Not surprisingly, chances are the experience had what we preceived to be a negative outcome. And chances are, when the experience happened, we stopped breathing. Think about it. When trauma or pain occurs, we hold our breath. This alone helps to lock the emotion into the body. The breathing is part of the mechanism to release it again, as are the "stressful" experiences.

Symbolically, emotions are represented by water. That being the case, on a symbolic level -- which is the language of our unconscious -- like water, those blocked emotions must at some point come out. It is my feeling that until the original experience is accessed and shifted, we will continually create similar situations in order to release the emotions.

If the original experience (our unconscious and even our bodies have all the data) can be accessed and shifted with the help of Spirit, and the emotions surrounding that experience released, the recurring experiences (a pattern you might recognize in your life) need no longer occur. There is no continuing need to release the emotions, and the new inner picture we create manifests as a new outer reality: less of what we experience is stressful.

"The present IS the past -- until we clear it."

Students of the mind have discovered that the unconscious mind doesn't seem to know if its pictures are actually happening now or not. Nevertheless, we also know that the unconscious rules. In Hawaiian Huna, the unconscious is thought of as the child, the conscious mind as the mother, and the superconscious mind as the father. And if you have been around children, you know that "the child rules." The unconscious shows up in our lives when we are going along and out of the blue something happens to us that we certainly didn't consciously want. It may be time to explore deeper.

Through my own personal clearing, as well as work with clients, it has occurred to me that our "anxiety attacks" and even lesser stress are simply feelings trying to be expressed, and in so doing we go into fear. In other words, fear may be the feeling experienced in the original experience, AND it could be that fear comes up simply because a FEELING is about to be felt. I came to this when in the Loving Relationships Training workshops, as I began to do the breathing that is at the core of the rebirthing process, it felt like an anxiety attack coming on, even though the session was not about fear! Once through the sessions, I realized the fear was based on something in the past and specifically about allowing feelings I didn't like to move through me. The fear is gone when the pictures of the original experience are changed by literally applying light from heaven on my inner screen AND allowing myself to fully feel those emotions I was resisting.

Birth itself can be a source of stress. Rebirthing was named such because one of the founders of the process, Leonard Orr, while exploring alternative methods of mental and emotional healing at Esalen in the early '70s, had a memory of his own birth. Afterwards, his stress level reduced considerably and he and others, including Sondra Ray, did subsequent research on the effects of birth in creating lasting patterns of personality, including how one deals with stress.

At the very least, considering that birth represents the first major change in physical sensations for each of us, it stands to reasong that how the birth progresses can have lasting influence. Simply put, since the unconscious mind is completely literal, and if struggle and stress are part of the birth experience, then what the unconscious has done is to link the struggle with life itself. Literally speaking, if struggle means life, "no-struggle" can mean death. If this is the mechanism, it stands to reason that some people unconsciously believe they MUST continue to struggle; the unconscious alternative is death. Obviously, if rebirthing sessions clear just this, a person's life stress will be reduced considerably.

By looking at the patterns of stress in our lives and exploring with Spirit the genesis of those patterns to change them at the core, while releasing the emotions that are still repressed, our stress patterns in the present are reduced significantly or eliminated entirely.








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Business consultant, educator and speaker, Carol James helps people achieve their greatness. Her Inspired Living site ? http://www.inspiredliving.com ? includes an extensive library of educational, motivational and inspirational articles, stories, tidbits, resource links, humor, products, a chat list and a biweekly newsletter to help people live the lives of their dreams.

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