Got Stress? Lose It Now
Author: Sharon Schurman

Are you 'stress heavy'? You bet. We are flooded with information now about how we are eating too much and need to cut way down on carbohydrates. We have to lose
weight, we are told, or suffer the health consequences. Everybody is focusing on how almost half the people in the US are way overweight and nobody seems to ask why.
They just say 'fix it'. This means giving up what we all use for comfort food and drink to deal with our stress. When we are stressed to the max, all the good intentions in the world won't make us give up things that make us feel relaxed, if only for a few moments. The stress monster has a hold of us and won't let go.

Stress kicks up our cortisol levels in the bloodstream and get us hyped up to deal with pressure. We swerve to avoid hitting a dog, brake to avoid that accident, grit our teeth when we have to deal with someone we can't stand, and clench our jaw when someone is annoying us. This type stress has been going on as long as humans have
lived on the planet. The trouble is now we all seem to be headed towards living in that hyped up state most of the time. The stress is killing us. You get cut off in
traffic, the guy gives you the finger, and someone pulls into the parking space you ere headed for. You just got home from a horrible day at work and your kid tells
you he has a note from the teacher saying a parent-child conference is necessary. Your kid is in trouble again. You go to take a hot shower and find that your teenage daughter used up every drop of hot water and then go to find a towel and they are all in the wash.
You check the mail and your health insurance premium went up 40%. Morning to night, this keeps on a going.


What happens when we 'got stress' to the max and can't take it anymore? Our bodies roll over on us, that's what. Our immune system goes to hell and the germs attack
without our bodies putting up a big defense. Ever notice how when you are going through a real crisis and you get that cold? When you put up with a boss who seems
to have a lot in common with Atilla the Hun, do you feel an ulcer starting to form in the pit of your stomach? And we all know that when we are under pressure and stress that we will make bad decisions which can be real costly and even disrupt our lives.


Here's the bad news. Stress isn't going to stop. It's going to keep coming straight at you like you have a bullseye painted on your face which says ' here I am'. Read the papers. People are slipping over the edge, striking out, causing accidents, and even murdering
people because they feel so stressed and out of control of their lives. The stressors are now part of our society and they aren't going away.

Here's the good news. Even though you can't stop stress from dropping a bomb on you every day, you can find a way to defuse it. You can handle the grenade, look at it, and
watch as it goes off in your face or find a way to keep it from exploding and blowing your life apart.

Here are some quick and easy tips for making the stress dragon head the opposite direction.


1. Every day of your life, make sure you get in some physical exercise. I make it my business to walk at least a mile and maybe 3 in a day's time. I got a pedometer to make sure I'm not slacking off. This is one of the quickest, cheapest ways to reduce your stress. It makes your natural body chemicals called 'endorphins' which are the 'feel good body chemicals' come forward and lift you up. Ever notice when you are really tense that
your neck muscles are tight? Exercise loosens you up and lets those muscles relax. Let me make this clear. You need to give yourself time for YOU during the day. My daughters have strict exercise schedules which they follow every day. They blast their stereos and let it fly. When they're done they are exhausted and the stress has taken
a holiday. If you feel you need to join the YMCA or a health club to do the exercises, fine. But whether you do it on your own or in a group, you have to do it. And when you are doing it, don't let your mind fiddle with problems with your family or job. Nobody gets in the way of this
time of yours. Guard it like it's worth it's weight in gold. It is.

2. When the actual stressful event is over, walk away from it. Let it go. The longer you hang on to the feelings and thoughts surrounding the bad situation, the longer the stress stays with you and the more the stress affects you. Stop playing the situation over and over
in your mind, thinking what you could have said or did differently. Walk away and do something else. Do something that brings your energy up, like again, the exercise. Do whatever it takes to calm yourself down and let your thoughts go in a different direction. When you are
frustrated and stressed and re thinking how you have been screwed or how you screwed up, you can make terrible judgements and decisions. You will regret them later and wish you had cooled
off.

3. Start being more realistic in your life. You need to learn what you can do and what you cannot do. If you are a person who has trouble saying 'no' when people
ask for your help, practice doing it when you are alone. Look in the mirror and say 'no, I can't'. When you make too many promises that you can't keep in a personal or work
situation all you will get is flustered and unhappy. Also people around you will be unhappy with you because you have promised what you cannot expect to deliver. They are pissed, you are pissed, and everybody is grumbling. Sound like a happy recipe?

4. Insist with yourself that you are going to live a healthier way. If you want your body to hold up and not fall apart on you before it's time, give it the care it
needs. Get your sleep every night and don't skimp, telling yourself that you can work a few more hours a night and make the sleep up over the weekend. If you aren't sleeping well you are going to have higher stress, count on it. Eat those vegetables and fruits even though you want to stuff your face with french fries and greasy fried chicken. Make yourself have fish twice a week and you can find a way to cook it to make it tasty. Drink a lot of water because it flushes the toxins out. Remember, a healthy body is your best stress defense.


5. Cut down on the booze, caffeine, and tobacco. I know, I know, these are the first things we go for when our stress is at the max. But these little devils only make
the stress reactors get hotter. Do a few stretches, walk around, whistle, and use up that negative energy in a positive way. Bad habits are darned hard to break when
we find bad ways to deal with our stress.

6. Quit being so serious and 'adult'. Get down on the floor and wrestle with your kids. Play ball with the dog and talk dog baby talk. Sing along with the radio and
do a little dance (in the privacy of your home, of course, or they will cart you away). If you like the rock and roll oldies, have a tape or CD to play in the car when the
whackos are driving you nuts breaking the speed limits and cutting you off. Don't worry that somebody might catch you off guard. You're human and even though you try to act
serious, let the little child in you come out and play.


7. Remember the old remedy, count to 10 before you react? That's a good one and it makes you pause before you speak or act in a way that will make the situation
worse. Breathe deeply, move your head around your neck, walk, go get a drink of water, buy yourself some time. You don't have to be a speedy gonzales when it comes
to stress reaction time. Think before you speak or act. Remember, it is better to remain quiet and look like a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.


If your stress is really over the top due to a death, job loss, relationship breakup, or perhaps a life threatening health situation, you need more help to get over the hump.
Go to your doctor and get some Xanax or Ativan or any other anti anxiety medication. If you need this help, you need it, so don't be embarrassed to ask for it.

The stress monster is after you every day. He's an ugly, mean son of a gun who will beat you if he's able. Fight back and win the battle. This monster needs your help
to get the better of you. Don't give him any opening to take over your life.








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Sharon is a retired clinical counselor who has done extensive individual, group, marriage, and corporate counseling. www.depressionhelpguide.com

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