Subscribe to newsletter

Sign up for his newsletter and get one of Rick's ebooks for free!


 

Rick Saldan is an excellent inspirational speaker who tailored the seminar to the needs of the individual students being instructed. This office thanks the Mayors Office of Information Services for having such a vendor.

 

Timothy K. Lynch

Office of Fleet Management

City of Philadelphia

 

 

Rick has a magical approach that provides a clear and concise message specifically designed to the needs of his audience. Rick will provide all the motivational magic you will ever need, propelling your organization to the next level of greater success.

 

Thomas Mulhern

Frontier Communications

 

 

Rick Saldan is a compelling and absorbing motivational speaker and magician.  I have been to five of his Motivational Magic presentations and it is amazing how he keeps our college audiences on the edge of their seats. A highly entertaining performer with great comedy flair. Rich content to increase students' productivity, peak performance and motivation. If you need an outstanding motivational speaker for colleges, Rick is definitely one of the world's greatest speakers and magicians!


Dr. Rob Gilbert, Sport Psychologist,

Montclair State University

 

 

Rick Saldan has the wit, wisdom and sorcery of a wizard. He has a dynamic personality, and all will enjoy his captivating stories, comedy and magic!

Dennis Slaughter
Credit Suisse First Boston

 

 

Rick Saldan delivers a first-class show! A pro in every sense of the word. Funny, unique, entertaining and polished.

Brian Letscher, Actor

Hawaii Five-O, NCIS, Cold Case, Law & Order and The Mentalist.

 

 

Rick Saldan is a wonderful combination of master magician, comic improviser and first class speaker. The audience loved his program, which was music to our ears. If you love celebrity motivational speakers such as Tom Hopkins, Dale Carnegie and Zig Ziglar, then you'll love Rick!

Dottie Burman, President
Burtley Productions, Inc.

 

Rick Saldan is an incredibly talented performer and motivational speaker with great insight. He shares many powerful motivational messages that will enhance your life for the better!

Jack Murray, President
Dream Illusions

 

Rick is one of the best inspirational speakers on the scene today. Funny, fun loving and highly energetic. If you want to make your next event into an extraordinary one, then invite professional speaker  Rick Saldan and his amazing  Motivational Magic.

 

Andres Lara, President

Inspiration Times Magazine

 
 

Seductive Withholders
Author: Susan Peabody

To many people, the term “Seductive Withholder” is self-explanatory. SW’s are men and women who vacillate between being available and unavailable. One moment they are romantic, alluring, in pursuit and then suddenly (often without warning) they pull back and withhold affection, sex, and/or companionship. SW’s can drive you nuts.

I place SW’s into two categories. First you have the Narcissistic SW’s who enjoy toying with others because it gives them a “high.” Some narcissists feel remorse and continue doing this anyway, but most lack any kind of compassion for those they seduce and then abandon. An analysis of the narcissistic personality is beyond my area of expertise, but I do know it is a personality disorder rooted in childhood trauma. Unfortunately, treatment for this disorder is very ineffective. Narcissists don’t get better because they don’t get treatment. They have illusions of grandeur and don’t think they need help. If they do get into therapy they drop out quickly because their grandiosity is all that keeps them from falling apart. It is best to just stay away from narcissists, especially narcissistic SW’s.

The second kind of SW is the man or woman whose ambivalence is fear based. These people feel safe when they are alone and uncommitted. Then they get lonely and start dreaming about being in a relationship. Next they start looking around for companionship (and sex) and go into seductive mode when they meet someone they are attracted to. As the relationship progresses, they become frightened and pull back. Anything can trigger their anxiety. Intimacy and commitment are the two most common triggers.

There is hope for this kind of SW. With therapy and a few good books about relationships, they can carefully choose the right person (someone who is independent and self-sufficient) and then stick with the relationship even if their fear comes up. SW’s cannot do this alone. They have to first get treatment for being attracted to the “wrong” type of person (a common problem for SW’s). Then, when they learn who they should be looking for (and they find this person), they need a lot of help bolstering their resolve to stay committed.

Some SW only seduce and withhold once; then they move on. Others engage in this dance with the same person over and over again. The more codependent the victim of a SW, the longer this will go on because codependents are have a high tolerance for suffering in relationships and tend to hold on despite all obstacles. See my book Addiction to Love for more about codependency.

What do you do if you are a SW? Get help and CHANGE. If you are attracted to SW’S, or have a history of getting involved with them (by accident) please read about this and get some help. As I say in my book, The Art of Changing, this involves both therapy and support groups.







--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Susan Peabody is the author of Addiction to Love: Overcoming and Obsession and Dependency in Relationships and The Art of Changing: Your Path to a Better Life. For other articles written by Susan see her website http://brightertomorrow.net/

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------