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Rick Saldan is an excellent
inspirational speaker who tailored the seminar to the needs of the
individual students being instructed. This office thanks the Mayors Office
of Information Services for having such a vendor.
Timothy K. Lynch
Office of Fleet Management
City of Philadelphia
Rick has a magical approach that provides a clear and
concise message specifically designed to the needs of his
audience. Rick will provide all the motivational magic you
will ever need, propelling your organization to the next
level of greater success.
Thomas Mulhern
Frontier Communications
Rick Saldan is a compelling and absorbing motivational speaker and
magician.I have been to five of his
Motivational Magic presentations and it is amazing how he keeps our
college audiences on the edge of their seats.
A highly entertaining performer with great comedy flair. Rich content to
increase students' productivity, peak performance and motivation. If you
need an outstanding motivational speaker for colleges, Rick is definitely
one of the world's greatest speakers and magicians!
Dr. Rob Gilbert, Sport Psychologist,
Montclair State University
Rick Saldan has the wit, wisdom and sorcery of a wizard. He
has a dynamic personality, and all will enjoy his
captivating stories, comedy and magic!
Dennis Slaughter
Credit Suisse First Boston
Rick Saldan delivers a first-class show! A pro in every
sense of the word. Funny, unique, entertaining and polished.
Brian Letscher, Actor
Hawaii Five-O, NCIS, Cold Case, Law & Order and The Mentalist.
Rick Saldan is a wonderful combination of master magician, comic
improviser and first class speaker. The audience loved his program, which
was music to our ears. If you love celebrity motivational speakers such as
Tom Hopkins, Dale Carnegie and Zig Ziglar, then you'll love Rick!
Dottie Burman, President
Burtley Productions, Inc.
Rick Saldan
is an incredibly talented performer and motivational speaker with great insight. He shares many powerful
motivational messages that will enhance your life for the better!
Jack Murray, President
Dream Illusions
Rick is one of the best inspirational speakers on
the scene today. Funny, fun loving and highly energetic. If you want to
make your next event into an extraordinary one, then invite professional
speaker Rick Saldan and his amazing Motivational Magic.
Andres Lara, President
Inspiration Times Magazine
Fear of Intimacy Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D.
Emotional intimacy is one of the most wonderful experiences we ever have. Nothing else really comes close to the experience of sharing our deepest thoughts and feelings with another, of being deeply seen and known, of sharing love, passion, laughter, joy, and/or creativity. The experience of intimacy fills our souls and takes away our loneliness.
Why, then, would someone be afraid of intimacy?
It is not actually the intimacy itself that people fear. If people could be guaranteed that intimacy would continue to be a positive experience, they would have no fear of it. What they fear is the possibility of getting hurt as a result of being intimate with another.
Many people have two major fears that may cause them to avoid intimacy: the fear of rejection – of losing the other person, and the fear of engulfment - of being invaded, of being controlled and losing oneself.
Because we have all learned to react to conflict with various controlling behaviors – from anger and blame to compliance, withdrawal, and resistance - every relationship presents us with these issues of rejection and engulfment. If one person gets angry, the other may feel rejected or controlled and get angry back, give themselves up, withdraw or resist. If one person shuts down, the other may feel rejected and become judgmental, which may trigger the other’s fears of engulfment, and so on. These protective circles exist in one form or another in every relationship. When the fears of rejection and engulfment become too great, a person may decide that it is just painful to be in a relationship and they avoid intimacy altogether.
Yet avoiding relationships leads to loneliness and lack of emotional and spiritual growth. Relationships offer us the most powerful arena for personal growth, if we accept this challenge. So what moves us beyond the fear of intimacy?
The fear exists, not because of the experience itself, but because a person doesn’t know how to handle the situations of being rejected or controlled. The secret of moving beyond the fear of intimacy lies in developing a powerful loving adult part of us that learns how to not take rejection personally, and learns to set appropriate limits against engulfment.
When we learn how to take personal responsibility for defining our own worth instead of making others’ love and approval responsible for our feelings of worth, we will no longer take rejection personally. This does not mean that we will like rejection – it means we will no longer be afraid of it and have a need to avoid it.
When we learn how to speak up for ourselves and not allow others to invade, smother, dominate and control us, we will no longer fear losing ourselves in a relationship. Many people, terrified of losing the other person, will give themselves up in the hope of controlling how the other person feels about them. They believe that if they comply with another’s demands, the other will love them. Yet losing oneself is terrifying, so many people stay out of relationships due to this fear. If they were to learn to define their own worth and stand up for themselves, the fear would disappear.
The Inner Bonding process we teach is a process designed to create a powerful inner adult self capable of not taking rejection personally and of setting limits against loss of self. Anyone can learn this six-step process and, with practice, heal fears of intimacy. Through practicing the Inner Bonding process, you learn to value and cherish who you really are and take full responsibility for your own feelings of worth, lovability, safety, security, pain and joy. When you deeply value yourself, you do not take rejection personally and become non-reactive to rejection. When you value yourself, you will not give yourself up to try to control another’s feelings about you. When you value yourself, you are willing to lose another rather than lose yourself.
You can start to learn the powerful Inner Bonding process now by downloading our Free Inner Bonding Course. Moving beyond your fears of intimacy will open you to the deep personal and spiritual growth that relationships can provide and the profound fulfillment and joy that loving relationships can offer.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" and “Healing Your Aloneness.” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or email her at margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone Sessions Available.
