Get Known and Trusted by Those Who Buy What You Offer
Author: Lillian D. Bjorseth, SP

Let’s suppose you are looking for a web site developer and have two equally impressive brochures on your desk. For one company you have a personal reference; none of your contacts know or have heard of the other one. The choice is easy because we prefer to do business with people we know and trust or those who have been referred by people we know and trust.

If you apply that rationale to your business, all you have to do is get known and trusted by more and more people who are buying what you are selling.

If you catch a hint of marketing in that theory, you’re right. And that’s the rub for most business people. You know well how to do what you do. You are far less sure and intimated about how to let the world know that you know.

The most effective marketing tool by far is word-of-mouth referrals. I know of only two ways to get them. One is to meet people who need your products or services and/or will tell other potential customers about you. The other is to use the media through media releases, columns and press conferences or to become the subject matter expert the media quotes in your area of expertise. Positioning yourself through publicity is a proven way to begin building trust in people who do not know you.
10 Minute Rule

In this article, I’ll be sharing information on the first area: How to become more astute at meeting other people, i.e. relationship building, by using my 10 Minute Rule for
Working a Room. (If Al and Jill concur, we may even do a second part on using the media to increase referrals!)

Because networking is planting seeds (not harvesting, which can take months or years), spending about 10 minutes with people you meet or reconnect with is an expeditious way to use your time at after-hours and other networking events.

It may be a shock to your ego, but people are not interested in hearing your entire sales spiel at what used to be called "the cocktail hour." Plus, you are passing up a major one-on-one sales opportunity by telling people too much too quickly.

Ten minutes gives you time for small talk, a verbal business card interchange, at least five minutes for each of you to answer "how" questions that your carefully prepared introduction elicited, and a courteous, meaningful ending.

Small Talk

Small talk is those conversation starters that pave the way for a potentially productive relationship. Choose your subject carefully as men have only a few preferred topics: Sports, current events, politics and business/jobs (and, some women might say sports, sports, sports and sports!).

Women have a plethora of topics, hundreds it may seem to men - and many involve family, home or personal items. And that brings up another difference: Women disclose more about their personal lives than men. Men disclose personal feelings; however, they are much more often about impersonal subjects such as sports teams or political candidates.

Ideally, the future will see a give-and-take on both sides. Men can learn to be more comfortable with subjects like fitness and wellness and general-interest topics like books, magazines and movies. Women can work harder at respecting men’s desires not to discuss personal issues, bring up subjects like those listed above and bone up on sports and current events.

Verbal Business Card

Your two-three sentence benefit-laden introduction is the most important thing you will say about you when meeting new people. If you think it’s easy, think again. I have worked for hours with clients condensing what they do into a few powerful sentences that "are them." The words need to flow off your tongue effortlessly and smoothly to be believable and captivating. Emphasize benefits for others versus features about yourself or your business. Once you have developed your verbal business card, practice it in the shower, in front of the mirror, on your family and friends until it is "you" and people can quickly grasp your essence.

Business Information Exchange

The "body" of the conversation is where you emphasize more benefits of your business to other people (or people they know) as well as give other solid business information. You want to share enough of your knowledge and expertise to establish your credibility and intrigue the other person, yet not so much that their eyes glaze over or begin drifting around the room.


The Ending

Many people are so fearful of starting conversations that they don’t even think ahead about how to extricate themselves once the information exchange has begun. Getting stuck with people, even interesting ones, can greatly diminish the benefits of two hours of attempted seed planting.

It’s okay to plan and rehearse exit statements as well as opening remarks. Since body language and tone of voice account for more than 90 percent of any face-to-face communication exchange, keep in mind that how you say your good-byes is more important that what you say.

How to do it:
* Ask for the other person’s card if you do not yet have it.
* Excuse yourself shortly after another person has joined you and others.
* Be up front:
> "It’s been nice talking with you and ...."
> "I see the client (guest/friend/associate) I invited has just arrived."
> "I will keep your card on file for when I need ..."
> "I haven’t been here for awhile and I’d like to rekindle some other acquaintances."
> "I’d like to continue this conversation, may I call you?"
> "It’s my first time here, and I would like to talk with other members, too, to get a better feel for the organization."
> "Would you like to have lunch next week?"
and when all else fails ...
> "I would like to get something to eat (or drink)."

Plan time to say good-bye to everyone you met, using their first name and zeroing in on something the two of you discussed. Keep it short, upbeat and positive.
"Kelly, it was nice meeting you. I’ll call you Thursday."
"Bob, thanks again for the referral for a good lawn service."

The difference between networking and networking effectively is the difference between having to make cold calls or getting warm referrals!








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Lillian D. Bjorseth is a rapport builder who helps Fortune 100 and entrepreneurs maximize interpersonal relations. She is president of Duoforce Enterprises, Inc., a speaking and training company, and its division, Better Business Contacts, a business leads organization with almost 20 chapters in the Chicago area. Before successfully starting her own two businesses, Lillian coached AT&T top executives in communication and media relations skills. She is the author of Breakthrough Networking: Building Relationships That Last book and audio tape series and the Nothing Happens Until We Communicate audio tape and workbook series. She can be reached at 630-983-5308, lillian@duoforce.com or www.duoforce.com

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